Have you sent or received a thank you card lately? Letter writing almost seems like something of the past. It’s so easy now and takes the littlest effort to dash off a text. I’ve gotten so lazy that I often settle for the pre-populated text responses when conversing with friends and family. “Yep!” “Thanks!” “Got it!” It takes a touch of a finger and no effort. A card or letter in the mail though – that takes energy, effort and time which we seem to have little of when an auto-reply is sometimes all we can muster in our over-busy lives.
So why keep the thank you card alive?
Think about the last time you hosted a playdate/backyard bbq/dinner party. It’s. So. Much. Work. I always feel so lucky and thankful to be invited into other people’s homes to share a meal or spend time together. If their house is immaculate – I know that they spent time making it clean and beautiful for my visit. If it’s messy – I know they are likely comfortable enough with me to let me see them less than instagram-perfect. They’ve purchased food, planned what to serve and spent their time making sure everyone else has a good time. That’s a lot of work – even if on the surface it’s just a casual playdate or glass of wine with friends.
A friend of mine recently sent me a thank you card in the mail after a party I hosted. It was a Friday night laid back gathering. We invited three families over and everyone brought a dish to share. We had dinner together and then headed out with all of the kiddos to the local high school football game. Afterwards, when I received her thank you card in the mail, I was so surprised. It stood out to me as feeling special.
I commented on this to another friend – how I was so impressed that she had sent a thank you card. We marveled that an old-fashioned thank you card in the mail is a rare enough occurrence these days that it got our attention. I actually told the sender of the card how nice it was to receive her thank you and she told me her goal is to practice more gratitude this year. She doesn’t necessarily like to host but appreciates getting together with friends and the effort the host puts in. This thank you note in the mail was a little love and gratitude traveling across the universe via postal carrier to me. And it felt good.
I recently looked up the difference between gratitude and thankfulness. Basically, gratitude is a feeling and thankfulness is an act. A thank you is making the effort to connect with another person and acknowledge them. By saying thank you we also, in a small way, say “I see you.” “I recognize that you did something for me that you didn’t necessarily have to do.” “I appreciate your love/caring/positive energy.”
We’ve all been on the receiving end of the absence of a thank you especially after we’ve sent a gift. No acknowledgement from the receiver leaves us wondering – did they receive it? Did they like it?
My goal is to take the time to send a thank you card when I have a feeling of gratitude towards someone. In our overscheduled lives when negative headlines dominate the news – it’s the small acts that can sometimes make the difference in our days. There’s something special and old school about getting a card in the mail. It’s not junk, it’s not a bill, it doesn’t demand anything from you – instead it gives a little bit of pleasure.
Show love. Act on feelings of gratitude. Acknowledge the beautiful humans we are. Honor someone else’s time and spirit. Spreading this positive energy feels good and is something we teach and pass on to our children too. I was raised to send a thank you card after receiving birthday gifts growing up and I in turn now have my kids do the same. It not only gives them practice in the art of correspondence but teaches them to acknowledge the kindness and generosity of others.
I have two thank yous to write right now – one for a friend who hosted our family for an overnight stay (so, so generous) and another to a friend for having me over for a late night glass of wine on the patio to talk about all the things. So grateful, so thankful.
Think about who you are grateful for this week and send them a little love through the mail.
