Now that my kids are older, 8 and 10, and more independent I can see the years slipping away before they are off to college and on their own. A mantra now keeps replaying in my mind – I’ll have done my job well if, in part, they can and want to be independent adults.
There are so many skills that many adults take for granted. Most everything we do we learned somewhere and sometimes the hard way. We’ve all heard the stories of a kid going off to college never having done their own laundry – having no clue how to even sort their clothes much less run a washer and dryer. I can think of hundreds of tasks and skills that I want to teach my kids, including fun ones like how to clean a toilet… not. These skills are important because when they leave home, I want them to focus on discovering new and better things about the world and themselves rather than struggling with the basics like how the heck to clean a toilet. Or, God forbid, have a filthy toilet because cleaning a toilet is not even on their radar as an essential part of maintaining a home.
Some people may call learning tasks like unloading the dishwasher, putting clean laundry away, etc, “chores” but I like to call them practicing life skills. You know those perfect packers that have the tiniest “overnight” bag yet look appropriately and stylishly dressed for every occasion? Packing is a skill people. I guarantee the perfect packers out there practiced curating their edited travel wardrobes. Just Google “how to pack a suitcase” and you’ll find countless steps and methods.
This summer I started putting my kids in charge of packing their own overnight bags. If you’re like me, sometimes the most stressful part of a trip is the packing – because let’s be real, mom’s are in charge of everything. In our family, my husband takes the lead on electronics (chargers, tablets, etc) and I pack everything else. I don’t mind because I like to have this control but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful. Packing for a weekend camping trip means not only getting the right clothes into the trunk – it’s also packing all of the gear and food. Running around the house ensuring everyone has everything they need can make me feel anxious and harried.
To teach my kids how to pack, I started by making them a list of essentials to follow. A two-night trip to the cabin in the summer may look like this:
2 t-shirts
2 shorts
1 long pants
1 sweatshirt
2 swimsuits
1 pjs
2 underwear
2 socks
Goggles
Flip flops
Toiletries
Toys
I hand the list to the kids so that when I’m packing my own bag – they can pack theirs. I suggest trying this with your kids when the stakes are low – for something like a weekend at the cabin or another short trip – when, if something vital is left behind, you can trek to Target for the missing item, or even better, go without it. This not only teaches them responsibility but consequences too. I’ll never forget the couple’s trip we took to Las Vegas when I left my entire makeup and jewelry bag at home. (I really couldn’t live without my makeup bag in Las Vegas). When you forget to pack something you need, you’re likely to never forget it again.
While they are still learning how to pack – I do quality checks. For example, on our recent trip to Oregon I had them line up their clothes in piles near the suitcase so I could do a quick count and scan of their items. I swapped out my son’s comfy pants for jeans for that nicer dinner out and questioned my daughter on her choice to bring her doll’s pack-n-play in her backpack. Do you really need to bring that bulky item? You know you’re going to have to carry it, right? (The doll’s pack-n-play made the trip with us.)
Packing their own overnight bags gives my growing kids autonomy. I want to raise independent humans and the bonus is that it takes the pressure of packing for everyone off of me. Every mom has done it – I’m so busy packing everyone else’s underwear that I forget my own. Make a packing list and have your kids follow it. (This works for busy husbands too.)
Will everything always match? No, but styling your clothes is another life skill… one that sometimes is beyond me. I guarantee – on our next trip we’ll all remember to pack our underwear.
Try this with your kids next time you go away for a night.
