This time of year I see so many posts from moms about feeling happy and relieved that their kids are going back to school. It’s gotten so extreme that this year one of the morning shows featured a mom who does an elaborate back-to-school photo shoot each year – a funny ode to her freedom. This year’s photo featured this mom doing a leap into a pool, holding a glass of champagne while her kids trudged off to school, backpacks on.
Yeah, this is funny but I just don’t relate.
I’m not the mom that is excited to have her kids go back to school. Sure, I love watching them grow and learn and once we’re in the routine of the school year I know I’ll feel differently. But on this night before school I’m thinking about how, starting tomorrow, we won’t be able to eat dinner any time we choose. I’ll miss the giggles of the kids jumping on the trampoline in the backyard at any time of day because they are not pulled inside by homework requirements, organized sports and other obligations.
I like having a flexible schedule in the summertime. This is one of the true joys of parenting middle elementary children. We’re no longer tied down by nap times and set meal schedules. My kids, in general, can roll with a flexible schedule. If we stay up playing with neighbors until 10 pm – they’ll sleep in until 8 or 9 the next morning. A late dinner is planned – no problem, we’ll just pack an extra snack and they’ll be fine.
I like not having the rigor of piano lessons and piano practice and dance lessons and dance practice and tennis lessons and tennis practice… and on and on. I like not having to devote the little “free” time we have each day to homework and required reading time. I like being able to take off on a week night and have an impromptu picnic in the park without it interfering with after school activities and early bedtimes. In the summer- our family is so free. I do get a little sad this time of year as we say goodbye to the freedom of not being overscheduled. We’re on the eve of living by our Google calendar.
Yet, as I write this, the kids are fighting while folding the family’s clean socks and towels. They are yelling that one of them is doing more work than the other and I yell back. “Things aren’t always perfectly equal. You need to work as a team.” They’ve had a lot of togetherness this summer. While our family has been given the gift of quality and quantity time – the desire, by the end of summer, seeps in for all of us to have a little independence from one another. When school starts, we’ll go our separate ways. I have to remind myself that that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
This isn’t our first back-to-school transition. My kids are in the 3rd and 4th grades. We’ve been preparing them for several weeks for this transition – talking about their new classes, going school shopping and tonight picking out first day of school outfits and packing backpacks. We have a couple of traditions that help ease this transition. Tonight we made sure to have dinner together and talked about what everyone is most looking forward to about school (seeing friends) and what they are most nervous about (learning new things).
On the eve of the first day of school I read The Kissing Hand and Froggy Goes to School. My kids’ reading levels are now far beyond these books but hearing about Froggy’s first day of school jitters helps to remind them that it’s ok to have their own. The Kissing Hand book comes with heart stickers that I diligently stick to a napkin or snack bag each first day – the story is a good reminder that those who love you the most are always with you in spirit and no matter where we all go during the day – home is a safe and loving place to return.
“…whenever you feel lonely and need a little loving from home, just press your hand to your cheek…”
Tomorrow we will wake up earlier than we have all summer and we’ll make it to the school bus stop on time. I’m already thinking about the 8:30 am meeting I have and the need to race right from the bus stop to the office. Let the craziness and tiredness begin. Gone are the slow days of summer. But this isn’t my first time around. Another tradition I look forward to is making homemade chocolate chip cookies. We eat them warm from the oven with the kids once we all arrive home. I can’t wait to hear about their days and their new adventures over cookies and milk at our kitchen island.
Tonight I made the cookie batter ahead of time – knowing there will no time tomorrow for this working mama. It’s a new season for all of us. It’s ok for the kids to feel nervous and it’s ok for parents to mourn a little bit of the freedom of summer. Oh my little honeys – I wish the best for you this year. Until next year, Summer.
