Keep a food journal. Don’t eat if you’re full. Drink a full glass of water before every meal. Eat slowly. Each bite you take should be purposeful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was raised to eat what my mother told me to eat – not what my body signals were telling me.
Like many my age, I grew up at a time when you ate what you were given, cleaned your plate, and if you did, were served dessert every night. I’ve traced my parent’s philosophy on eating and food back to their own childhood experiences and back further to their own parent’s experiences. My grandparents grew up during the depression and war times. Food was not plentiful, grocery stores were not open 24/7 and in big farm families there were many, many mouths to feed. My maternal grandfather had 14 siblings. I can’t even imagine making every meal for a family of 16.
Those in my grandparent’s generation generally don’t waste food. You eat leftovers and more importantly – you eat what you’re given. My parents grew up with parents who lived through very lean times. They are each the oldest of seven kids and my dad tells us stories of his dad frying one pound of ground beef mixed with three pounds of onions for dinner…to feed nine. My grandpa worked at a dairy and would bring home expired dairy products – so there was no shortage of cottage cheese, chocolate milk and ice cream in their household. To this day, my dad eats a bowl of ice cream in the evenings before bed.
I’m not a psychologist but in my own family I can absolutely make a correlation between how each family member eats as adults to their relationship with food growing up.
So, because my parents were raised by depression-era parents, they in turn are more frugal with food and conservative with money. This is not a bad thing. The impact on me now however is that growing up I cleaned my plate and ate everything I was given. I wasn’t taught to listen to my body and only eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. Listening to my body isn’t rocket science. I may know intellectually that if my stomach is full eating dessert or having a second glass of wine probably isn’t the wisest choice. Unfortunately, like many things, knowing something doesn’t translate to doing it.
With that said, I recognize and am so grateful for the privilege I have in my life to have enough food to eat and to choose what and when I eat. I’m not worried about when I’ll eat my next meal.
As I get older I’ve become more aware of how what I do impacts my body. I feel so much better when I get my three workouts in a week and walk everyday. I feel so much better when I eat a light dinner with a lot of fresh veggies. Two nights this week I had late dinners out – more decadent meals than what I’d cook at home. Last night I had two glasses of wine. It was all fine until I couldn’t sleep and tossed and turned. All. Night. Long. Today my day is packed with meetings at work – I know I need to be on and the loss of sleep will take a toll. Cause and effect, right?
Fast forward to today and my own family’s relationship with food. My kids talk about meals needing “protein” and the sugar content of their yogurt. My grandparents and parents would never have even dreamed of thinking of food in this way.
My food philosophy with my kids is to offer them a lot of healthy vegetable and fruit-centric options and encourage them (sometimes strongly) to try everything once. If you don’t like it – you don’t have to eat it. I also tell them to stop eating when their bodies tell them they are full. And they do. They will often leave dessert half eaten on their plates. I don’t think I’ve ever left a dessert uneaten.
Recognizing the connection between eating too much at a late dinner and a sleepless night actually makes me so happy. Because you know what? It’s a start. A start of being more attuned to my body and the impact of making healthy or unhealthy choices.
What food philosophy do you follow with your family?
